Prashant's trashpan

of something to dwell upon

2011-12-06T00:41:00.001+08:00

Read this line from a tweet of a friend's, friend. Seemed to make sense.

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing.If she's worth it, u won't give up.If u give up, you're not worthy.

And here's a nice song....

If I were to ever live that long, who's to say I wouldn't wait...

Returned to Penang for the wrong reasons, a tragedy to be more specific, Uncle has passed on.

Home wasn't what i expected, my room's been hijacked and it's a mess.
I can't believe you all can be in the same roof, much less room as him.
You ask me to forgive and patch things up with him, well if you can ask me to do so, you don' know that well after all.
Not happening. No way.
I left without a word.
I now dread the notion of returning there.

Of twenty years, two people, One Day

2011-10-21T02:55:00.000+08:00

Why, Emma Morley, why'd you have to die, you left us all in tears as if we've known you for our entire life.
I. Love. The. Book.

So tiring sometimes, more of in the mental sense, feeling how the huge ego's of some men can ruin a supposed to be fun occupation of being a cook. Certain individuals I guess i will not name here, so eager to please their higher up's that their willing to dump you on the chopping block just to "bodek" them, not that it's happened to me, but from what I've observed. Bloody huge ego!

of not missing it for the world

2011-06-29T23:52:00.000+08:00

I haven't been home for a while
I'm sure everything's the same
Mom and Dad both in denial
An only child to take the blame

Sorry, Mom, but I don't miss you
Father's no name you deserve
I'm just a kid with no ambitions
Wouldn't come home for the world

Never know what I've become
The king of all that's said and done
The forgotten son

This city's buried in defeat
I walk along these no-name streets
Wave goodbye to all
As I fall

Definitely wouldn't come home for the world...if I had the means to do so.

of living it up

2010-11-23T02:23:00.000+08:00

My mother's choice words to describe me from her very own mouth,

-Arrogant
-Irresponsible
-Cocky
-And a whole lot more

Glad that I'm living up to your expectations of being a total disappointment. Glad that I'll never be like the cousin you so love comparing me with, cos he's oh so perfect, he's so well behaved, he handles himself so well unlike me. Glad I'll be the son you wish you never had. Glad that I'm going to be so much worse than that man in the room with a padlock on it.
I admit it I am rather lazy at time at home and wont do shit unless told to do so, which only happens at home, but fuck that, is telling to do something really so hard, just say it once or twice and I get to it in a bit. You don't tell, I don't do. This only applies in this house, no where else.
You think I give a fuck that you got the person to open the door so we could get the computer out, even if you didn't do so, I couldn't have cared less, You suggested it so I said go ahead, every chance to fuck up the guy in the room, is a chance I relish. But you had to make it about me...'Oh I spent money to take the com out from that room for you, this and that for you' What ever helps you sleep lah....
Go ahead and pray all you want, but as long as you don't stop firing your mouth off at every fucking small thing, and expecting me to report my every move to you like your other loyal junior dog, you can kiss your wish of having me being all obedient to you, goodbye, the more you push, the harder I shove back, even it may take a hell of a long time, I will break You down.
Sorry you cant drag me around like a dog on a leash, sorry I will not beg, roll over, play dead or sit when tell me to do so.
You're THAT much of a pain, making him to wanna leave you on multiple times, he couldn't stand your crap I suppose but that doesn't mean he's excused for doing what he's done, back to what I was saying, then again, who could stand you?
Thank you so very much for everything

of the push down the long road to ruin....

2010-11-20T19:01:00.000+08:00

Kick Start by Mahendra from W.H. Shinajii on Vimeo.

Please do watch this, and there are subtitles too, so don't worry about not understanding tamil or bahasa..

of a bloody bugger!!

2010-11-20T17:53:00.000+08:00

On the 8th of Nov, it was a monday I remember, because I had class on that day too. Well, we had about an hour of break time in the evening, so I carpooled with my other college mates, they wanted to have cendol but I wanted to eat something else, so I took a slow walk to Nasi kandar Safa that's very near GAMA and also that Tanjung Tuition Centre, so ya, just as I walked past Craven, a li'l chinese boy happened to scamper out of a key making shop, then you know what, that kid's fuckface of a dad called him back in Hokkien, which I understood, he said, (after translation), "Ei, come back in now or else the Indian will take you away, faster come in."

What. The. Fuck.

The Indian will take you?! Why for gonads sake would I wanna take a lil'l yellow kid for!!
Lucky for that old shite that I had to get back to college soon and that I was hungry as hell or I'd sure have yelled your ass off in front of your own kid, pockmarked dick face!
Such rubbish talk from parents to their children, what the fuck will that kid grow up and think of Indians as, a bunch of chinese kidnappers??
Sheesh.....!

of a part two??!!? fuyoh...

2010-11-12T03:21:00.000+08:00

Betcha didn't know bout this new one eh?!

Time to make a li'l switch of songs for your phone ringtones!! :)

ps: Exams next week and also final presentation, busy beeee......

of cool footy moments

2010-10-09T20:40:00.000+08:00

Here are two video's that i chanced upon while trawling through the net, both are worth a watch I'll say.

Incident I- The Back-heel.

What! A! Goal! Dang, he so had that planned down to an ankle flick!
Yeah Drogba, eat that!! Your back heel the other day was a lucky finish, ass! You didn't even know if yours had gone in till you took a moment to see, dip shit! In your face...
These Irish league dudes are really quite the players don't you think, real masterpiece that one there.
Hat's off to you Mr. Burrows, a more than worthy match-winner.

Incident II- The Celebration.

Hahahaha! These Scandinavian lads must have too much time in hand to choreograph the whole act, and even dying with an itch waiting for the chance to put their act on show. It "reel"y cracked me up, that's for sure. Iceland boys, you ~~reel~~ rock me socks off!

Incident III- The Passing.
Well this is about an unrelated incident, last week, Banana baby's Granny passed away after a bout of illness, my condolences to her and the rest of her family.
I'm sure She lived her life to the most that she could and she loved everyone close to her to her capacity and much more. In time you will learn to accept her passing with a more open heart as just the cycle of life moving through the motions, just as your parents will, just as your friends will, just as you will.
May she be in peace, rest well...

of a li'l outing with the Baby Banana.. :)

2010-09-25T19:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we had a li'l outing as to celebrate her belated birthday, she's all grown up to be a very pretty lady now.
We had our lunch at this kinda new joint called the clinic cafe, unique layout and concept, but the food was pretty mainstream, but sedap anyway. The young lady also got a call bearing good news when we were eating, so once more, Kongratulasi!!!!

*could she be like dexter?!?! sweet girl by day, serial killer by night, with her rather small set of weapons though.. :p *

She had a mmmm... was it a mocha or cappucino...? In a mini old school medicine bottle, comel... but not as comel as her Hammie!

Ini, saya punya Oreo Milkshake..

This is her Chicken Cordon Bleu, and yes, that is a syringe, filled with sauce..

Mine was Black Pepper Chicken with pasta, notice the container its served in..

Seems somewhat UFO like don't you think.... :o

Then much to my shame, she grabbed the bill and paid for it...
Yes...i know...how sad of me letting her pay, even though she insisted.

Tapi ticket wayang, which was Wall Street. Itu saya cover, partial redemption! Haha! *crickets creaking*

An alright movie, good performances by the the two main's, but at times there was a wee bit too much on the technical talk bout stocks and share and all that business economy stuff which kinda lost me now and then, as much as I tried to faham those parts, but a nice watch anyway.. :)

After that, Adoi, big showdown on the phone with mom bout bringing Banana Baby home, to cook her dinner. And of course, yours truly, The Rebel Without A Cause, prevailed!
And in what I would categorise as a Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah moment, I had brought a gorgeous girl home, to cook for her. *catches breath* And now you know why I was out of breath for a bit and stammering in the elevator.
We chilled in me room for a bit, she deliberately tortured the Teddy that she gave me, over patting him and shaking him and aiyooo, kesian Teddy.
Off to the kitchen next, I made her Linguine with shredded chicken and coriander pesto, and mind you, pesto made from scratch ya, not some Prego sauce out of a jar okaayy... *bangga*
Sorry la if the Parmesan was 'fake' or my presentation tak berapa "up", I'll do better next time ookie's?
Thanks for helping me shred the ayam and waiting on me while I masak-ed.. :)


Here she is, enjoying her dinner, nom,nom, under Teddy's watchful eye..

No you are not fat, and neither do you look like an aunty, please! Good grief!
A person is eligible to be called fat, only when it's seen to be very obvious and it causes health deterioration.
You're beautiful just the way you are as a person and in looks! I don't need to get the President of the USA to write you a letter confirming how fine you look.. *teddy nods along*
Remember, Miss Enthusiasm, show it bout how you feel bout yourself.... Sorry if I seem like I'm preaching, just pouring my thoughts out.
Hmmm... and since you do read my blog, no I'm not having "oh shit, she read everything that i wrote with reference to her, the poem and all my other gripes" it is a blog for public viewing, so I have no problem with you reading it, instead I appreciate it, and glad you saw my tribute to Hammie, that Calvin & Hobbes comic strip really fit the moment in my mind, I hope it had the somewhat same effect for you. :)

Well, back to our day, after she habis makan-ing, i got her to pick one colour paint from a box of water colours, (whispers) *I actually already knew what colour she was gonna pick, but just in case, I brought the whole box along :p* and got her to do some painting for me, no no, I did not make her paint my walls, nor did I let her paint Teddy as well, but i got her to paint this....

Look at the speed and dexterity there, such skill shown with deft flicks of her brush, she paints so fast we can barely even SEE the brush! Theo Walcott is a snail compared to her, foof!

Her homemade B'day card I made for her, It had beach sand pasted on the borders as well as some pink/red seashells, the white part i had written using candle wax. Remember, some of us did do artwork like this light years ago, so i decided to go old school. We both can So Solemnly Swear That We Are People Who Once Failed Art In School, but no worries, we all have other talents that we can use.


The Pretty gal and her finished card, dazzling smile, even the star above her head looks dark in comparison.

Pretty Rose and gal! Hmmm, somehow scenes from the movie Beauty And the Beast come to mind right now, the rose and all, haha..

I sure hope she enjoyed the outing as much as I did, and hope dinner was good too.
Thanks for the transport and lunch, appreciate it loads.

Happy Birthday my friend. Take care and hope to see you soon.
*hugs*

of some heart string twanging songs

2010-09-25T17:45:00.000+08:00

Yup, go ahead and lie to me some more, see if terrifies me anymore than i already am......

of That Okay Song....!

2010-09-18T21:31:00.000+08:00

Havoc punye lagu beb sekalian nih, ambilkan dengar kepada seluruhnye dan nampakkanlah ke-enjoy-an pada muka-muka hangpe iya!

"You should grow a misai. Then you'd be a micho."

Hahaha! A micho, adoi, sounds more cute than macho la abang...
A taxi driver once told me at work, something 'misai' related, he said amongst them, there's a new term called "Kontrol Misai". I asked him where'd it come from, dia pun cakap, last time when some 'Awek chun comes around, laki mesti mula "kontrol macho" kan, jadi since the term "kontrol macho" feel like its been used abit too long de, they ambil keputusan to modify la bagi jadi "Kontrol Misai"

But all in all, the message being delivered is great, so is what they represent and by the look of things, they really put a lot of time and effort into the making of that video. *Tabiks!*

Here are the lyrics for your ke-enjoy-an! Sing along now....!!!

That Okay Song

Verse 1
Going downtown going underground
"What's the best place to get good DVD9's lah macha?"
Well I kinda know a guy in Chinatown
"Petaling Street? Aisey-man situ selalu kena raid lah beb."
But my taukay always brings all the prices down
"Okay-lah, but that one if kena saman cannot get diskaun wan."
It's all settled coz the guy is from my hometown
"Wah. Eh can help settle mine ah? Dah bertimbun-lah bro."

Verse 2
Stuck in a car on a highway
"Look at this fella here. Bawa kereta macam jalan bapak dia. Hoi."
Everyone's driving like it's Sunday
"Yang 'ni pulak sure lesen kopi punya, 100 percent!"
But for real it happens every damn day
"Kesian cik adik 'ni pulak kena accident. Faster take the nombor."
Coz we blame it on the floods, the trucks, the traffic lights, and the rempits cutting in lanes left to right

Pre-Chorus 1
Myl. You should grow a misai. Then you'd be a micho.
What the hell is a micho-lah?
"Misai Macho"
Fulamak. Goes well with my kopi jantan-lah.

{Chorus}
Hey, it's okay.
We gotta live for a better day. (Hey!)
Now we give a little a love and we're on our way
Kita kaotim everything, parava-illay

You say, don't play play
Kita mudah lupa but we say "nay". (Nay!)
Now we got a little love, keep it on replay
You say semua tak boleh, tapi we all okay aje!

Verse 3
"Why the all tak habis-habis reminding us to be grateful. What's up man?"
Why does it feel like its just a game?
"The same familiar fat faces on billboards, tv, paper, blah, blah, blah"
Same faces, catchphrases and bad cliches
"Check out this lame rhyming rhetorics, man... Hit me Ezra"
Things like... bersabar, jangan cabar, bersyukur, jangan lupa, muda lupa, cemerlang gemilang terbilang.

Pre-chorus 2
How long you going to be away again? Visa dah settle dah?
Dah. My visa can tahan three months.
You going to some tropical paradise getaway kan?
Yeah some damn nice gila exotic place called Kuching and KK

Chorus
Instrumental
Chorus

Next is another hit single about being a Macha or wanting to be a Macha.... I Am A Macha.... yehh....

Mmmm.... I havent worn Bata in a while de, but i do wear my Pallas shoes with Macha-ness pride!
And I'm gonna be off to the mamak in a few hours time to kena a milo ais and catch Sunderland v Arsenal, Go Gunners! :)

of some sights during a walkabout

2010-09-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

Inspired by Justin's midnight stroll, I too did go about Georgetown on the 31 July, to visit some of the exhibitions that were held to coincide with the Georgetown Festival, so apart from them exhibitions I did go jalan-jalan to slow things down and see Penang in a different way, on me two paws....

of the note

2010-09-01T00:41:00.001+08:00

Just decided to write bout the Teoh Beng Hock suicide note, it's bloody weird that the note was found in Teoh's bag 2 months after he died by the investigating officer, Its like what the fuck, it didnt occur to whoever, that something could be in the bag, you think he was carrying an empty bag around as a fucking fashion statement, might at well ask him to join ~~America's~~ Malaysia's Next Top Model to parade his slingbag on the runway.
And the fact that it took 2 months to find it?!?! Kane, is Teoh's bag like Doraemon's magical pocket is it, an inter dimensional storage device till it took so bloody long to find.
And since it took you so damn long to find it, I'm sure you had an even harder time finding you wife's cunt when you gonna fuck her right, since a note is bigger, she must've been bored out of her brains while you were prodding and probing about to find that opening of her's, which could explain why it took that long to find the note, fuckwad.

Next, on something different, you know what Ibrahim Ali, maybe you should just get a pet dog,
lie down on your back

And get the dog to Fuck you in your shit head of a face!!!! you dog-cocksucker!!
or......

You, Siti inshah and Ahmad ismail should have a fuckin' threesome of racists!! you bunch of inbred bumiputera's, which means son's of the soil, my ass, more like son's who soiled themselves!

That tudung-ed whore of a pricipal, siti inshah, what's that you said again bout us indians and chinese huh,
"Chinese students are not needed in the school and can go back to China or Sekolah Foon Yew (a private Chinese school in Johor).....the prayer strings Indian students wear on their neck and wrist make them look like dogs, and only dogs would be tied this way"

Fuck you lahh...! go screw yourself with a bamboo shoot before we stitch your sorry cunt and ass up with rafia string and send YOU to china!

I hope the pandas ass rape you...

Even Namewee made song for you, awww...how sweet of him....

Dan Selamat Hari Merdeka kepada semua!

We are Malaysia,

Negaraku.

of holding onto this moment you know..!

2010-08-28T00:58:00.000+08:00

Solid lyrics.. *thumbs up*,
feel it through and through..

of some gambars

2010-08-19T16:15:00.000+08:00

Since getting my hands on borrowing sister's camera, been around taking pictures here and there, wanna share some with ya'll, harap suka.. :)

More to come in time...

of ending it......

2010-08-18T01:36:00.000+08:00

Sunday of last week, I gave up.... I lost the battle.
She said either I give up courting, loving and having any feelings for her or keep those things going and risk losing her...
forever...
I've scared her, made her afraid and feel unsafe around her....I am sorry for making you feel so and you have forgiven me, thankfully. All it took was me stopping, I never saw It properly, how It was always about me keeping at It, not wanting to give up, but at the cost of driving her away. If I really did care for her I'd let go.
And some well spoken words of advice from V did help shake me out of my 5 year long dream-scape.
And so, I let go...
With a heart so heavy with knowing all these years of what I've believed in, held on to, had such strong faith, prayed for, bout love overcoming all barriers, were quite untrue...
My faith in that four letter word has crumbled like a wall, seemingly sturdy but only to be taken down so easily because of shoddy construction materials.
My believe in that four letter word is pretty much gone, it feels like a lie, my home is a lie, my family is a lie.
Now its back to feeling nothing, I'm now a rock once more, rocks feel nothing, even when kicked about, even when they are cracked and broken in two, even in the hot sun or under the cold and heavy rain. Well, at least I'll be stable, no fluctuations from when I'm happy after seeing or hearing from you...and no being sad like during those times when I was shut out.
Just nothing now...
I wonder what do I do with that unopened bottle of wine and also the also unopened bottle of Absolut Apeach vodka, be reminded both are mine, wine I snagged from..somewhere and vodka given to me.
Shall I down both at the same time and be rid of them. Drink for the first time in my life and be probably totally wasted, alone..
Life was easy way back when I felt nothing, even though my home and family were already lies then, but it was easy to be nothing.
So much for a partial wanting to prove that I'll not be like my fucking old man.
Not because mother keeps jabbering away in my ear bout 'Don't grow to be like him', oh shutthefuck up already, you just never will shut your fuck of a mouth will you, its either bout this or bout you being right all the fucking time 'cos you're the mother and wuek,wuek,wuek,wuek and bout a whole load of other poppy-fuck-cock that anyone else would have died from listening a long time ago, just sick of it. It seems I've terpesong story.
I don't wanna be like him cos if I do, I bloody know Its gonna cause a shit load of pain, that I don't want to see repeated, I wanted to love and make the person I gave my love to feel like she hit the jackpot in "The Hubby Lottery". But I guess that's all out the window, down the steep hill and into the deep ravine, because I'm a rock now, and rocks don't feel anything, even love.
Fuck you cupid, go suck on your love tipped arrows for a change and maybe you just might fall in love with yourself, take a step back and literally fuck your own cherub face..

Getting rid of these feelings are like asking a bird to fly after removing it's wings... I guess It'll still live, If it's being fed, but functioning as a bird would be off.
So ya, I'll stop, I'll give up, but the wings are going to be hard to remove or insanely hard.
If anyone of you knows of where I can get the same procedure like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, please tell me...end my misery by wiping me. There'll be no 'Meet me in Montauk' like in the ending.
Just a blank slate.

The End.

of the keropok!

2010-08-11T01:03:00.000+08:00

My new sem is about to start, and registration was yesterday.
A course mate of mine from Terengganu was kind enough to get me this!!!!!

Keropok Lekor!!!!! No its not made from baby meat...

Plus he gave me some "Terengganu Sambal" which he packed in a peanut butter jar for me, he let me have sniff at it, and I got so high, I flew past cloud 9, cloud 69 and even cloud 99, ok that was pure babble, so ya back to the sambal, celup the keropok with it and makan, crispy outside soft and chewy inside,

Pedas Bin Sedap...!!!

very different from the keropok lekor the mak cik used to sell in school, school's one kinda tough to bite off a piece and chew, this one no prob.
Now you see 4 packs in the picture right? Well at this moment, only 3 pack tinggal, 1 pack i telan de.....
Its all the packs, all mine...mine,mine,mine!
*gobble,gobble,gobble!!*

I suppose its like my next addition to me list of Trashpan's Comfort Foooods!
the usuals are Ice cream, chocs, gummy bears etc, etc... and Keropok lekor...wheee.....

Ps: Kongratulasi to my dear couzzy, Kabi Bear!
The man got an intern spot with 8TV !
Go forth me young padawan, may the TV be with youu...
Sit vis nobiscum.

of unrequited love

2010-08-05T01:12:00.000+08:00

Kate Winslet's character Iris said this in the movie, The Holiday, well written by the scriptwriters alright..

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true.
Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought.
Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had.
I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives.
It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true.
For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night.
And then, there's another kind of love:
the cruelest kind.
The one that almost kills its victims.
Its called unrequited love.
Of that I am an expert.
Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual.
And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium.
These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow!
All the usual symptoms.

“Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.”-William Shakespeare

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."-Charlie brown

My boy Charlie, we could both be good friends you know, you can of times that you were spurned and I can speak of mine.

This kinda love could kill?! good grief.....

You know, Ying Ping, like I told you the other day, I really wish I had eaten more of it back then. Problem would've been solved.

of believing

2010-08-05T00:19:00.000+08:00

I couldn't have said it any better Mr. Yamin....

of being unforgiven

2010-08-05T00:11:00.001+08:00

Once more you've tried to talk me into giving up on you, I really am sorry for making you feel unsafe being around me. But why me, why'd I fall for you so much, and you have no wanting to give us any chance at all, will you always be attracted to guys who break your heart, who put their computer games ahead of you, maybe its time you put aside your sense of attraction to those kinds, not that I'm questioning your taste, but maybe that attraction is blinding you from seeing one who really does want to be with you for real, who will never want to break your heart. Look past this brown un-attractive face... You say, there was never any feelings on your part to begin with, maybe its because you strictly never allowed your heart any when it came to me. You seem to hold on to your heart so tightly when it comes to me i feel.
If I were to be with you, I'd wanna grow old and grey with you, even as i gaze at your wrinkly aged face, I'd still see the beautiful you that I fell for all those years ago.
Please don't leave me unforgiven as i am now.
You feel I'm not emotionally stable enough for you. Well improving my self in that sense for you, just to make you feel secure around me would be a task I'd gladly do if only you gave the chance to do so.
Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, right?
I've never loved at all as compared to you, you're a veteran, I'm the newbie, so of course if you left me I'd be hurt but so will you i suppose, then again you're better equipped and experienced to handle the hurt, who wouldn't feel hurt if they parted with a loved one, but at least if we tried everything to make it work, and in the end if it didn't moving on is what I'd rightfully do, not mope around for losing you, but it would still hurt some way.
Doesn't me feeling this for so long and for the same unwavering manner count for something at all, that in the future you can count on my sense of loyalty.
Maybe it's also because your parents would be totally against it, the reason it being the colour of my skin.
Well my mum once told me no to trust chinese girl's as your girlfriend, they'll only be after you money. C'mon, not every one of them could possibly be like that, well, I found 1 at least that's lively, full of ambition for her life ahead, independent, could make a life of her own as well without the help of anyone else, has all the potential of a loving person, who's a real sweet banana! She may say she's a lazy ass but doesn't everyone have some lazy ass-ness in them as well, she may say she's not the kinda girl she would date if she were a guy, but that's why she's the girl, so that a guy with proper sense WILL date her and love her good and proper, and give her the security, love and harmony of a long lasting relationship.
Anything that's worth having, just like this now, is always worth fighting for what i believe.
If Thomas Edison listened to those people who told him to give up whenever he messed up on his invention of the light bulb, we'd be living the nights by candle light till today, ok well maybe someone else much later on would've invented it as well, but still, he believed he could do it, he needed to do it, he wanted to do it.
I do too.
I'm not asking for you to develop or feel anything overnight, I'm just stating my case as strongly as possible, I may seem like a total long shot in your mind, but long shots do pay off you know.
I need to believe, you taught me to feel, ok you must be wondering "Huh? I taught you to feel?", before falling for you, i never felt much for anything, i did feel some good amounts of joy in early childhood, nut later on I just became numb to everything, a dad who irreparably messed things up big time, and mum and sis which I barely connect with at all.
You made me feel again, just by being yourself.
I believe I can win your heart, or I'll die trying...

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

The greater man is not the man who can seduce a million women in his lifetime, but the man who can hold onto ONE forever.

The Best things in life are worth waiting for... fighting for... believing in... and just never letting go of!..

of knowing when

2010-08-01T17:30:00.000+08:00

If somehow you could find out when you were going to die, would you like to know or would you just let it be and leave it as death's li'l treasure to find you.
I think i would like to know, even though some might say if i knew, I'd be dreading the day, and feverishly counting down the days till the chest pump gives out.
But i guess i'll put that aside, and make the remaining days whether many or few, count.
Just live like you were dying, i guess.
I'll go jump the highest bungee jump in the world, i forgot where exactly it is, but i remember seeing it on an episode of the amazing race, hmmm, speaking of the amazing race, maybe i'll put out the best audition tape for the amazing race asia, and win the race itself.
I suppose knowing when you're gonna "blah" sorta makes you invincible in some way, like you're unbeatable, no one can take you down, Grrrr...!
I'll show a loved one lotsa love, more than what i have shown her, ever. Show her the side of me that has cared for her all these years, but a side she has never actually seen in the open, thanks to me bein awfully *blush* to show it....
Pinch my mom's cheeks real good!!! hehe!
Just live out loud, but depends on when exactly my expiry date comes along la, if its soon then mesti la tekan minyak enjoy kuat-kuat, but if its still a long way to go then i guess enjoy kuat-kuat anyway, but in a gradual manner.
Assuming its a long way off, then i guess, i'll do that bucket list sorta thingy,
get a vespa, a dark green one, a mini cooper the old school model in blood red, a nice li'l 2 storey terrace house, with a nice lawn with carpet grass with a big shady mango tree and them old cast iron swings people usually have, love those! Can put out a blanket on the lawn at night at watch the stars or laze on a deck chair in the evenings under the mango tree.
Well along with the house, even though in some way it would be fun to live alone, but i guess sharing that lovely home with a lovely wifey would be the cherry on the cake.
But if i were to die before me wifey does, then i'd be *sobs* heart broken, knowing i'll be leaving her behind all alone. *waaahhh!* :(
I'd suddenly be the most insane footy player, amongst friends that is, cos i'd be fearless mate!! Tackles would be crisp, clean and hard!
We're "supposed" to live each day like it was our last, but unless you know its your last, very few people actually do. I think it would change the monotony of my day to day living.
I'll smoke weed at leaaaaaaaaast once and maybe twice if its really as good as its hyped up to be. :P

of a satu malaysia!!

2010-07-24T21:47:00.000+08:00

Read an article that i liked quite a bit in The Star the other day, so I'm gonna put it up here, Star don't sue me please, saya buat promo bagi kamu jugak tahu. :)
Ini dia:

Striving for 1Malaysia If this country wishes to forge ahead and compete, we have to stop placing importance on the race of a person.
WHEN filling up any official or unofficial forms, there is always a column for race and another for religion that comes soon after the Name and IC Number columns.

I have never been able to comprehend the importance accorded to such columns.
In my humble opinion, such columns would only lead to racial segregation, and unless they are abolished, the concept of 1Malaysia or any other similar slogans will never work because we are still invariably defined and institutionalised by race and religion.

Being a child of Indian-Chinese parentage, I have always felt “forced” to identify myself as one of the identified races (Indian), especially so when the official forms come with the usual identified racial components; Chinese, Malay or Indian.
(Hmmm... just to kurang ajar next time, whenever we fill up a form with such a column/space, we shud lukis another space of our own labelled 'Malaysian' then tick that space, hehe)
It is one thing to have such a column/space in official/unofficial forms (although it has been beyond me to understand the importance or need to know this information) if it is just for official records such as statistical purposes.

But when the people around you, who are supposed to be your role models in teaching and guiding you about life in this world, are placing importance on race and that you be identified by it, this to my mind is unacceptable.

An educator once told me (in a class filled with students), that it was shameful that I was unable to speak Tamil, my supposed mother tongue, and repeatedly preached to me on how children from mixed marriages often grow up “confused” – that is, growing up, like me, without a fixed religion.
With due respect, I was truly aghast at his closed-mindedness and coming from an educator certainly adds salt to the wound; and it made me wonder what kind of brainwashing he had been subjected to.
Asked how I would identify myself ethnically, I would say that I do not identify myself with any particular race; I identify myself proudly as a Chinese and an Indian.
(You should have told him to "shaddup lah...!", cos that's what i told a dumb bitch once who tried to fuck with me bout the matter since i can't speak Tamil either, and she kept jabbering away about me being a shame as I'm an Indian and all that crap, who the fuck decided that to be defined as an Indian one must be able to speak Tamil, go fuck yourself with a Tamil Neesan newspaper lah!)
Both are my heritage and it would be a pity if I had to choose between either.

To me, if this country wishes to forge ahead and compete – or just to stay in place while the rest of the world is forging ahead – we have to let go of this importance that we place on the race of a person.
It is hard to understand this race situation when our Constitution allows for a quota system to be practised.

In my humble opinion, narrow policies should be abolished and the fact that our fellow Malaysians are asking for equal treatment among all Malaysian citizens, without undue preference to any particular race/ethnicity, should not be seen as a race-related request.

I wish Malaysians would embrace cosmopolitanism and not see the necessity for any racial or gender connotations.

The concept of having to register one’s name on the birth certificate with “a/p” for those of paternal Indian heritage is completely unnecessary.

I am glad that this was not practised in my family.

Far from implying that we are not proud of our heritage and our roots because we do embrace both Chinese and Indian cultures equally in our daily life, the fact that we can all pray together as a family in a church, a Chinese temple or an Indian temple is something that, although amusing to many of my friends, I am proud of.

Another criticism that I have, with regard to the importance accorded to race or religion, is the racial stereotypes.

The stereotyping associated with each race – the most common examples being “Malays are lazy, Chinese are greedy and Indians cannot be trusted” – has to stop as it serves no meaningful purpose other than to widen the racial gap.
(heyyy.... you can trust me....... even though I'm Indian)
Such racial stereotyping is man-made and should be done away with. Lastly, I also wish all the politicking over our country’s education system would stop.

The recent policy change/discussion on our education system causes students to be treated as mere lab rats and the PPSMI issue, for example, was somehow turned into a race-related issue when it should have been regarded as a noble intention and solution to move the country forward.

Although there are valid arguments for both, I personally prefer single stream schools to vernacular schools which, I believe, create racial disunity and destroy relationships among the different races.
This, to me, can be easily solved by never forgetting the myriad of races in this country and by encouraging and allowing diversity to be part of our national school system without compromising the roots of each ethnicity.
(And also ban same race marriages, cos that would be soooo cool!)
In this way – all races can learn and understand the culture of each ethnicity.

Only then can we truly say we are “1Malaysia”.

By MELISSA SASIDARAN
-PUTIK LADA-

of everybody's leaving.....

2010-07-14T01:22:00.001+08:00

Just yesterday I left in the wee hours of the morning a while after the World Cup final, to go see off me cina macha named Yi min/Min-min/ Mini min/Ducky, at the airport, and thank goodness for Rapid Penang for having the rather new bus route 102, Teluk Bahang<-->Airport!
The dude's starting work on wednesday already, his partner in crime, the lord of mockery, Choo! As in Joseph not Boon Teik, left last Wednesday, (sorry i couldn't be there choo, ada exam).
So here's wishing them all the best in their working life down south, show 'em Sing cooks that you are better than them!!
MIN!! Find a wife!
CHOO!! Don't frequent by geylang so often ar!

But will really miss you dudey's, take care mateys, hope to see you soon!
*salutes!!!*

of stardust and love

2010-07-13T21:25:00.001+08:00

There's this one movie that really surprised me and caught me off guard, cos I never thought I'd turn out liking it. It's based on a novel called Stardust by Neil Gaiman. Recently download the PDF format of it to get the book's version of the story, yet to start on it though.
I really like the story, very original, to my view.
Well there's a line from the movie from Claire Danes' character, Yvaine, that really made me feel mushy and all on the inside, here it is,

You know when I said I knew little about love?
That wasn't true. I know a lot about love.
I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable.
All those wars. Pain, lies, hate...
It made me want to turn away and never look down again.
But when I see the way that mankind loves...
You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.
So yes, I know that love is unconditional.
But I also know that it can be
unpredictable,
unexpected,
uncontrollable,
unbearable
and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and...
What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan?
I never imagined I'd know it for myself.
My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it.
Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more.
It belongs to you.
And if you wanted it,
I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion.
Nothing but knowing you loved me too.
Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

*melts into a puddle of cheese.........*
ohhh...dear.... those words there really sealed it for me.
*Just your heart in exchange for mine. Sigh.........*

of the lizard!

2010-07-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

"but the lizard....he's going to die" Hahaha!!!

The last scene, would that be called a bird in a can, or a can containing a bird.....? hmmm....

Plus you know who did the animation effects, Industrial Light and Magic, Yeaah, that's riiight, the studio owned and founded by George Lucas who created only the best movie ever in our existence, Star Wars!
yeah, pixar eat this!

Rango should be out in March next year, and he's voiced by Johnny Depp.. :)

of a tribute

2010-06-21T19:36:00.000+08:00

Exactly one week ago, the very loved Hammie belonging to Banana baby passed away, leaving her really really sad. I couldn't be there for her but sent her my condolences. Too bad i never got the chance to see that cute li'l hammie, the adorable furball! She even got hammie a li'l casket with a goodbye blankie as well.
I'm sure hammie's up in hamster heaven nibbling on all the sunflower seeds she can get her furry paws on and snuggling up warmly with all the others hamsters when its time to sleep. :)
So here's a belated toast to Hammie! And all the other furry and non-furry friends of ours!

of an unexpected gift

2010-06-20T15:56:00.000+08:00

Received a little something from some people cos of a ummm... little something i did, which ummm... aided one of them. Received it the same day i went for breakfast with Banana Baby, which was a while back, yes, i know. Wondering why i'm only mentioning about it now, well, been somewhat kinda ummm... shy to mention it la, hee...

Here's what i got...ehhe....

It's got chips, chocs, peanuts, hand soap, body soap, mouth wash, face wash(which i have no use for), deodorant, wardrobe air freshener, and a repeat of one of the soaps.
Strange thing is, i haven't got down to opening it, feel a lil'l odd thinking about it. Feel like i'm undeserving of getting it even though the people who gave it say i totally do. (Thanks Miss Maggie and the others for it!)
So its just sitting here, on my table, unopened, collecting dust and occupying space. Hmmm......

of memory making

2010-06-20T01:35:00.000+08:00

Calvin, i am inclined to agree with you very much.. :)

of defacing the wiki

2010-06-16T18:53:00.000+08:00

Siapa yang pandai sangat untuk edit topik in dalam Wiki aku pun tak tahu, but whoever it is, he/she is too free. Always heard about people writing things that weren't true or inaccurat, this is a first time that i chanced upon one myself..

of today was a fairytale (well kinda close)

2010-06-05T16:11:00.001+08:00

Last night the prettiest girl in the world called me up to meet up this morning for breakfast out of the blue. Was really embarrassed that I couldnt recognise her voice, sorry Banana Baby! (rain was heavy and sitting next to the window didn't help)
Another schoool mate, Koh Ian who's friends with her as well fetched us. We had mee goreng at Bangkok Lane, and for the first time in a long time, I couldn't finish my plate of mee, it was a regular sized one like her's, just couldn't help stealing glances at her as she ate, It was as if I had my fill having her around.
Having Ian around wouldn't spoil the outing, she just stole the show...but I have to admit it would've been a whole lot nicer if he weren't around. (sorry boy, but the truth is all you'll get from me)
She even remembered and wore the little red butterfly earrings i bought for her while I was in Sabah!
All i can say bout her ex from what she told, 'Dude! what the fuck, you've got the loveliest girl ever as your girlfriend, and since you both don't see each other much, but when you do, you leave her and play your computer games?!?! You are soooooo undeserving! Damn...'
God......! Some intervention here....! Please....!

She gave me my belated 21st b'day prezzie too, a great pair of shoes, love 'em!

The handsome pair.

Koh ian, you very itchy mouth ya, asking if I'm dating anyone or not now, when i say none don't la korek lagi with questions like, If not dating then i'm sure got feelings for someone right?. I gagap de la and keep quiet only, but had a feeling she could tell. If i were palefaced, I would have been blushing as red as a tomato just then. Kacau la you, Ian, ish...

The Beauty. :)
Can't find the words to describe how amazing of a person she is and how amazing she makes me feel. *sighs happily*

of losing face

2010-05-30T16:07:00.001+08:00

Saw this video of some dudes stealing the Head Honcho's face off a billboard that was wishing him on his appointment as the Head Honcho. Respect those flers la! *TABIK bin RESPECT*

and they used the fucker's face for...................

HEhEheHehE!!!!

of a li'l something from our time in sch

2010-05-27T10:11:00.000+08:00

Here's a lil memory refresher since all you remember of being in the BOD is the silly circle thing after assembly.. hehe..
Nope, nope, i don't know how a witches circle would look like, sorry, but here goes anyway..

Kenapa tangan lurus sangat la cik??

The cheek poke was my move, wonder why no royalty was paid, hmmm...

Everyone!! Stick your butts outtt.....!

Jocelyn must've had GI joe in mind during that pose, GRR..!

Hands up people!!! or else.......the camera man will shoot!

The ~~Adams~~ Happy family.

of having some hope that my money woes will be lightened

2010-05-15T18:22:00.000+08:00

Got this in my mail just past monday, tried keeping it away from father but thanks to my kecuaian, I accidentally left it in the scanner when making this copy. (Damn skill la you prashant, terror to the max)
Anyone here been through such an interview before ke?? Could use your help, a few pointers as to what they'll ask. Dont have any idea as of now what will be asked la, susah pulak i go in and tell them, My name is......., my age is...., my hobby is........., i like to eat........., my favourite colour is........
Mampus la if i say all that and run off in a panic.

But if I dont screw it up and all goes well, and the money comes in, that would be quite a "Besar punya" burden lifted off us all here at home, and could use my work money for mostly myself instead of scrooge-ing my cash like now and before. I've got bike repairs on the back of my mind as well now, my front tyre is starting to look a lil old and bald, but i'm sure it'll hold up till my next visit to CCI.

I can also show the old man a big "NAHH!!"

because he never had a hand in what i'm doing now and never will, you always were my downfall in some way or the other, you steaming pile of shit that's still in an elephants rectum!
Remember stopping me from playing the piano waay back in primary, because you didn't wanna pay for classes, and i was really intent on learning how to play well, and strangely even at that bloody young age, you know what my goal was to be able to play well, it was so that i could serenade my wife while playing the piano one day, where the hell did i get that idea at that age i dont know, i've never said it out loud up till today. Looks like that plan's out the window since i cant remember to play anymore and he instead paid for sister's piano classes till she can play like Edward Cullen, if not better.
Remember when i took violin classes, you refused to buy me one, so fine i borrowed one from an aunt and went for classes with that small amount of money you gave added with some from mother till one day again you cut off the cash flow, but flash forward people, he buys sister a brand new violin, *applause in your face* great job you horse cocksucker, now i cant remember to play that either and sister plays it rather decently.
Remember when I asked for a phone or a GameBoy(the old no-colour screen ones), you said, 'no such thing, if i want want i gotta go out and work for the money to buy one'. So that's what i did, right after PMR i got a job in McDonalds thanks to Ayam Man, and with that cash, bought this...

Yeah!! I stuck it to the man! MY Nokia 3350! Bought with MY own money, so fuck yourself with that wad of cash you're hiding away! The GameBoy dream i have not realised, yet.......
and *BaDaBing,BaDaBoom* you go and buy sister and brand new hand phone when she was in form 1!! and give her post paid lagi, anak haram barua punya perogol pokok kelapa, can but her a fucking doll house worth 250 bucks for her birthday but not a GameBoy for me back then, wait la cibai, just wait...

Remember you stopping me for continuing being a member of the school band, and your excuse was that two practices a week was too much time taken up. I was doin something i enjoyed in sch, plus there was no music class fees to be paid since it was the fuckin school band for balls sake, and you had to take that away from me as well. Fine, carrying that big bass drum did cause me to have stunted growth, which answers for why i'm short, but i enjoyed playing!

Remember when Varun called me in November 2004 during the year end holidays that i had a spot to go with them for the 14th National lasallian convention and your heard my conversation with him. I was so excited to go, I was in form 4 some more. And guess what, no you will not get a prize for guessing right, you get a slap instead, you made me call Varun back and you fucked him on the phone telling him that i will no go cos I had to study for school, during the bleeding november-december holidays, and i had to wait till 2006 for my next chance to go for the 16th. You're a really ass fucked by a donkey brained fish arent you, simply genius!

Remember, now this is the best and the definite cake taker, no wait more like cake heist of the millennium, when i was in primary and took FREE Tamil classes in school, let me repeat my self, FREE, F-R-E-E, there its even spelt out for your cretaceous period brain to understand, i was taking those classes and learning quite a bit, especially reading and writing in my own language, i picked up slow, but it was coming tome surely and believe it or not, for my tamil test i got a 100% i've even kept that test paper till today, its like gold to me, not bad for a dude who was not exposed to tamil by both parents who could speak it but never did so.
Then you hit the motherlode of all jackpots, you stop me from that class as well, and your excuse, cause its was taking up time so no need to continue. Then with stopping classes i started to forget the language as well, and i am but a shamed one, who cant speak his own language.
So fuck you old man, fuck so very very much from the heart of my bottom!

of why you may not listen to lady gaga anymore

2010-05-10T00:21:00.001+08:00

A friend show me these videos and thought it would be interesting to see what you all think bout what they have to say bout her, i personally was pretty creeped out, ( yes miss tasmania, gaga was selling it as puki face instead of poker face after all eh)

The backwards playback of the song is preeeeetyyy creepy, at least to me, gave me the chilly willies.
Sooo... just say TAK NAK KEPADA LADY GAGAP!!

of points to ponder on

2010-04-26T21:09:00.000+08:00

One remarkable-if seldom remarked-benefit of marriage is that it makes kinsmen out of strangers. It unites kingdoms, settles wars, links cultures and forges bonds that otherwise are all but impossible.
When I think of the diverse individuals who have become special to me because they married a relative of mine, our educational and cultural differences shrink to insignificance. They have a call on my resources, and I on theirs, not because of any special deservedness, but because they are family. :)
It simply isn't true as some insist, that "that little piece of paper doesn't make any difference." It makes a tremendous difference. Just think how differently you would regard an appeal for help from,
(a) your daughter's boyfriend or
(b) your son-in-law.
Marriage matters, and so does the fact that we are forgetting how much it matters.
~William Raspberry~

And here's a line from Miss Fabregas that pretty much sums up my month of April,
'The month of april is full of surprise and disappointment, suddenly so full of life and then is heard no more, all in vain...'

LSS.......

2010-04-11T23:40:00.004+08:00

Life was made meaningful the moment I fell for you.
One look is all that is needed to send my heart beat into a flurry.
With you I have never been, but yearns to change that in time.
Sweetest is the smile you possess, sweeter still your laugh.
Unknowingly u stole my heart in ur sleep, nvr to know you've kept it.

Surrendering when you ask me to, is a horror beyond words.

In time I pray you'll see me in a different light.

Eternity I'll wait till the day I can bring you joy.

Not a moment do I never adore the beauty you bring to life.

of pulling it off!

2010-04-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

Well the 2nd leg of the Quarter finals of the champions league between Barcelona and Arsenal is in a few hours time with the 1st leg being 2-2. Its surely goin to be a real cracker of a match. The Gunners have to take things up a whole couple of notches to beat this sickly good Barcelona team. We can do this, put you minds to it lads, get in theirt faces, dont't allow any of them any space do that and we could just pull of the results of the millenium!
Not That we've never done it before, remember Inter Milan in 2003, dubbed 'The Italian Job' by us Gunners all because we beat Inter at home in the 2nd leg 5-1 but were written off totally because we lost the 1st leg in Highbury 3-0.
Next came Real Madrid which we beat 1-0 at the Bernabeu to become the first english team to beat them at home all thanks to the magician in Thierry Henry, with one hell of a run to score. We drew the 2nd leg 0-0 to progress, that match being quite possibly the most entertaining and exciting scoreless draw i've ever seen.
Then came AC Milan, we drew the first leg at home 0-0 but went on to beat the Rossoneri on their own ground again being the first English side to best them at the San Siro 2-0, thanks to the scorers in Adebayor and Fabregas.
If we beat the great Barcelona against the odds piled against us it could just be our season after all, ending that all too long a wait for the good old 'Big Eared' trophy. So lets give them a fight they shall never ever forget and if we do lose we'll go down fighting,
C'MON YOU GUNNERS!!!

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!!!

of being away for quite a bit

2010-04-06T00:10:00.001+08:00

I disappeared for a while as i was down in the "Hollywood" town of Ipoh for the 8th Northern Regional Lasallian Convention in La Salle Centre in SMI.
Why do i call it the "Hollywood" town of Ipoh? Well here's why lah!

;

These Ipoh flers think they all damn big ~~pornstars~~ superstars la now, putting a big ass sign board on your bukit, haha! Wait laa...Penang puts one up one day and its gonna be kick ass!!!
Hollywood style konon-nya, piiiilaah!

The convention was fun, especially coming back after such a long time and also this time as part of the organising team. Was in charge of audio-visual which was quite some work during the camp as i had to handle the projector, laptop that did not play most song formats (what the fuck wei!!), video tape the sessions, take photos, control lights and work the AV room for the first time there. The part bout the laptop not playing most formats was a real shocker, running on Windows Vista and couldn't play WMA format??!! Cibai betul! Luckily, Soon Heng had the codecs with him to install and soon it played about every format available. The joker also ambil kesempatan for that, that night he was happily watching movies on the laptop after most people had gone on cruises to ZZZ-land.
Met a nut case of a girl there, very knowledgeable on the sessions but when you make fun of her she'll put this super kiddy merajuk face on expecting me to go, 'Awwww poor girl', but nooooo, i aint falling for that puppy face shit pile, i terus cubit/perli lagi kaw until she more masam muka! haha! Then she'll come punch me and thinks i wont bagi her balik, fooo, peperangan yang best sekali! But our fights were never with any bad blood, just for the heck of it. But she treat her boyfriend like what only, last day in the evening, he came to fetch her, he was playing with a helium baloon we used the night before, he lightly tapped it against her head and she went cuckoo kicking him and punching him, like for real! Kane if that were me means she mampus de la, kena sleeper hold de.

So Evellyn even though you will probably never read this, but you are one crazy/funny bitch! Hah!

Dont wanna upload too many pics..... mainly because of.... kemalasan.....
but i'll try not to be la...
sooo here comes...!

Kartig and his multitude of poses...

Kartig again followed by Benny kee, Wai hin and joel, a while before the start of convention.

Joshua, Lee fatt, Yoshida (she aint jap-indian), E-vil-lyn

Jason!! Wai yan's secret boyfriend in USM!! Dont act surprised!

Pretty ladies 1: Evellyn, Mei ying and Carrine.

Hmph!! Tak habis-habis posing.

Some constructive posing at last, during a session about scenes from a time in De la salle's life.

Eunice who was handling that session above, which so happen to know Miss Suzanne ~~Lim~~ Khaw as they study in IMU.

Isaac having a camera break from the loads of work on his laptop.

Eunice looking relieved that she's finished her session, and Soon heng, my unofficial wing man for AV.

Soon "Happy Feet" Heng

I loooove your shirt Ai huey!!! Go ahead varun! I dare you to ask her to take it off! Not after Joe cole owned man dis-united!

AHAH!! Curi tulang laa! Tunggu hang.. bila bangkit tu kena la dia ni.. Wai yan needs to give someone a good spanking.

Aaron Chan, jenny wong, choulyin, joel and aunty terry chilling...

Hmmm... Happy feet trying to fly off???? *flap,flap*

No no no you dirty buggers, this isn' what you imagine it to be!! Its called caterpillar race la!

DUUUDE!! HE'S FLOATING OVER THE BALL...!! GAWD DAMN!!

OWW...! Not my nipple again!! You just wait!!

Those three behind seem to be watching real intently, as if she's helping to deliver a baby on the field, haha!

Kok looooooonggg....! The boys yelling out a goodbye yell to our OT Kok Loong who had to leave early.

Pretty ladies 2: Ai huey, Jenny and Mei ying cooling off after the games.

You know when an idea come to mind and a light bulb appears? Well for Wai hin its a balloon, and a pink one as well! Dang...

Just imagine Isaac as V from V for vendetta, pushing the dominoes, hahaha!! We finally know that V is actually.....Indian!!! hee!

Desperate times call for desperate measures....to prevent runny nose.

Doing the actions to Owl city's Fireflies...."It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep.."

"I'd like to make myself believe, That planet Earth turns, slowly...."

Group Photoooo....!! Hands up in the air!!

A while before leaving for our respective states, lepaking and sembang-ing a bit more.. :(

Time to sayy gooodbye.... Sigh.. It was good being there, we'll be back sometime, somehow.. Au Revoir!

Awww.... Poor Kartig left behind left (almost) all alone in La Salle Centre. The Seremban Boy who loves Ipoh. We'll See you around mate!! Take care! *waves!!*

Hish! Mat India mana ni wei!? It's meeee lah...! And Me cam! Caught in the act!

So thats about all the pics i felt like putting on among a couple of hundreds more from that weekend. Enjoy!

Met Loh 'Char' Siew Lay yesterday by chance for a 2 saat meeting, it went as, 'Hi, Hi, oh sorry i gotta go take some stuff then back to class de, sorry, bye prashant'. Tapi Rambut dia ni macam warna rambut Cloud Strife dalam wayang Final Fantasy, fuhh!

Its getting awfully warm now even though it rained a lil earlier on, fucked up weather as usual, so i'm gonna get me self a nice cold shower! Bye!

of it never ever being enough for you

2010-03-19T17:00:00.001+08:00

Got 3 B's for my 3 subjects in my last semester, and as expected it still isn't good enough for mom. Its on and on about scholarships and stuff. You know prashant, just go kill yourself, you just will never be good enough, go slit your wrists, hang yourself, fall in front of a moving vehicle or jump off a tall building. You Suck prashant, you always have you worthless fuck!

of junk since i last posted and some tunes...

2010-03-15T01:35:00.005+08:00

Well its been a while since my last scribble, been kidnapped by assignments and exams,but it seems they couldn't keep me in their clutches for long.. Think i kinda messed up my nutrition in overall but did better for menu planning, but the nutrition assignments were the fuck load, spent god knows how many hours with my group mates from 9am till 8pm finishing our assignment!! Then got fucked over my my friend who said he would help me print my individual assignment near college and pass his and mine together the next day since i would be working, but....he calls me up the next day saying he doesn't want to pass his individual one up, but i wanted to, looks like i gotta rely on my group assignment for a life saving, considering the time we spent on it.

Went for a movie yesterday and the day before, thank goodness none that i called came for the Thursday movie, Under The Mountain, if you all came, sure i kena goreng from the lot, the poster cakap the special effects team from good movies, but the effects sadly lose to Star Wars 1977, and rather lame acting, the reactions on their faces when it came to fearful moments were like they were bloody trying their best not to burst out laughing at the sheer crappy effects they were seeing. The only effects that were good came at the end of the show, literally at the end, there were a bunch of fiery volcanoes, that looked shit good, but were not enough to save to show on whole. Sam Neill, just stick to 'being chased by dinosaurs' that's one spot you look great in, Always!

Been sleep deprived for the past two weeks or so, due to exams, assignments and thoughts about 'The girl'... Caught up on sleep last night, but could've used a few more hours, which i could've had if i didn't have to stop by work to get some stuff. Been hanging out with cousin often, at work and out, been jogging and football mainly, and my cousin has a girlfriend too now. :) Message to him, 'She is your girl friend dude, stop saying she isnt!!! *pinches cousins cheeks* And don't *ahem*, please.................? Remember what i said about the both of you waiting till there are rings on both your fingers first, trust me, it is worth the wait. I know you've lost 'it' before, but don't lose it again, aite? For the the love of god and the both of you.

'The girl' has been on my mind always, like literally almost always, but i guess i mean nothing to her since she doesn't reply my messages already, which are like CNY wishes or how she is or when is her next trip back to penang is or one of those friendly messages. Lines from songs that remind me how i feel about her like....

But if I had you, that would be the only thing that I would ever need
Yeah if I had you, then money fame and fortune never could compete.

I dreamed you now every night
in my mind is where we meet.

It would be such a shame not to give us the chance......I thought I might say to you
You put the beautiful in life.

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
(Seems more like a song for people actually together which we are not , but still a song that gets my heart yearning)

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you...
Without you God knows what I'd do...
Know there's no life after you.

Have you ever...
(by Brandy, e-v-e-r-y word in the song is the perfect explanation to what i'm going through)

Well I know that it's a wonderful world
From the sky down to the sea
But I can only see it when you're here, here with me.

I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it's half timin', and the other half's luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it's right,
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life.....

Oh, I just can't get enough
How much do I need to fill me up?
It feels so good it must be love
It's everything that I've been dreamin' of
I give up, I give in, I let go, let's begin
'Cuz no matter what I do,
Oh, oh my heart is filled with you.

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder....
In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life....
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me.

If only you knew, Why my heart goes through for you
I'm tryna break through, Don't you think it's worth the chance?

The way you can't cut a rug, watching you's the only drug I need
You're so gangsta, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you be with me.

Let me be the one you run to
for the rest of your life
I'd give up everything to show you
to show you there's still time
I could be the one you run to
for the rest of your life
I'm still learning how to love you
You're the only one that's worth the fight.

I just wanna be the hand you hold when you're cryin'
I just wanna be the voice that tells you it'll be alright and
When your world is coming down and helps nowhere to be find
Well I'll be here, well I'll be here, well I'll be here
For ya..

I've been seeing Lisa now, for a little over a year
She says she's never been so happy, but Lisa lives in fear
That one day Daddy's gonna find out that she's in love
With a Nigger from the streets
Oh how he would lose it then, but she's still here with me
Cuz she believes that love will see it through
One day he'll understand
He'll see me as a person, not just a black man.

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night..
You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile.

Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street
So I'm not moving, I'm not moving.

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do.

I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away.

But how do you expect me
To live alone with just me?
'Cause my world revolves around you
It's so hard for me to breathe.

When I see you smile
I can face the world
Oh you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light
Oh I see it shining
right through the rain
When I see you smile
Baby when I see you smile at me.

Now I know better from his fingers in your hair
I'll forgive you for what you've done
If you say that I'm the one
I've had other options too
But all I want is you.

For you I am a better man
I said you are the reason
For everything that I do
I'd be lost, so lost, without you.

If it's wrong to tell the truth
What am I supposed to do
All I want to do is speak my mind
If it's wrong to do what's right
I'm prepared to testify
If loving you with all my heart's a crime
Then I'm guilty.

Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for.
I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more,
Yeah, I would fight for you,
I'd lie for you.
Walk the wire for you,
yeah, I'd die for you.

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
she needs somebody to tell her
that you'll always be together
So tell me have you ever really -
really really ever loved a woman?

When I give my heart it will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart.

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know..
Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it really just another crush?...
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
?Cause I've tried and tried to walk away
But I know this crush ain?t going away....
Going away...
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever!

They call her love, love, love, love, love
They call her love, love, love, love, love
She is love
And she is all i need
She's all i need.

And one of these days
I'm gonna sign myself away
I'll find the courage, and I'll find the grace
And I'm gonna know just what to say
Oh, and you'll call me up
When you want this love
Or when you've had enough
And you're giving it up.....
Because I've kept my heart under control
But lately, all this time has taken it's toll
Said I tried to, but I can't hold back what's deep in my soul
Oh, so darling, please forgive me if
I want you and you'll just have to know.

She, she is the words that I can't find
How can the only thing that's killing me, make me feel so alive
And I couldn't speak
I couldn't breathe to save my life
All of my chances swim like sinking ships
This time it's it
I'll drown or make her mine.

You have stolen my
You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart............

Well those are just 'some' of the tunes that get my thoughts going about her, miss lovely..
If i were to list all them songs, sure no ruang already, my blog site would implode/explode!!!

of being just a lil too late

2010-03-08T19:10:00.000+08:00

Poor ol dinosaru yang comel sekali, they missed old noah's ark cruise and they've become museum relics because of that, poor dinosaru.... and the spelling dinosaru sounds comel-er to mee......

of knowing u were born in the 80's if you used to.......

2010-02-19T00:07:00.001+08:00

-Watch Doraemon every 7pm on RTM1 when u r 7-10 years old
-Watch cartoons like Transformers, Jam ,the Smurfs, My little Pony on Saturday mornings and not forgetting Dungeon & Dragons, Thundercats, Carebears, The Mask, Kamenraider, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,GI Joe, Ultraman and the ever so cuuute Pico Pico Pong Pong, hee....
-Watch Alam Ria Disney and Dragon Ball at 9.00am like that on weekends
-Collect Tamiyas race cars!
-Play Bumble bee Yoyos
-Play Nintendo or Sega video games
-Collect Dragon Ball comic books
- Play Batu Seremban or Bottle Caps aka main tudung la..
- Wear Kiki Lala, Kiko or Rocky clothes? what other brands existed to us then wei...bata for shoes...
now its gucci, nike, adidas, fila, LV..... puki la malas wanna list those names, rich boys/gals go figure...
-buy those candy in boxes which also come with a free li'l toys-Ding Dang and Tora.. nampak only those box candies, terus macam dirasuk hantu anak setan mana satu pun entah la..hooo...!
-think David Copperfield was de best and an awesome magician.
-and still are a fan of Michael Jackson and try to imitate the moonwalk dance.
-watch Oprah even when you had no clue what it was about but watched it anyway..
-beg daddy and mommy for tamagotchi or the digimon and pukimon, eehhh, silap, pokemon i mean..
-buat perangai macam rambo ke, indiana jones ke, masked rider and his "tendangan pusing berkembar" (i dunno if thats an actual move or not, sorry to those diehard fans ya, hehe)
-Watch Airwolf, McGuyver, KnightRider, 6 Million dollar Man, Bionic Woman, Invisible Man using his watch to be invisible, The Hulk, and Mission Impossible series. really havoc right when the bionic man does his gempaq world record breaking lompat jauh with 'that' sound effect.. bowl of maggi: RM1.50, choki-choki for dessert: RM0.20, seeing "that" jump: priceless...ditto for the KnightRider theme song and The Hasselhoff.. Dope!
-think MegaTV was somethin rich kids had and it had bad ass shows on, very high probability that was the first time we ever heard of cartoon network! though the antenna for mega tv looked a lil odd...
-used play those plastic soldiers, and 'blast' them all over the place.. when in kindy i used to go to the house of an elderly couple who were next door neighbours, they always let at them soldier who belonged to their waaay too old children, like working old children.. foof, the room i played in was a one boy battle ground, fun times mates..fun times....

sigh.... what i'd give to relive those days again.. looks like i gotta mentally stay a child while living in the body of a 21 year old, best advice to give a child, dun grow up too fast, keep the child in you close by always,cos once you lose it, sorry mate, but you fucked it big time.. call me childish, well fuck you very very much, i'm sure u wish just as much to go back to that period in time.. li'l you having hot milo and cream crackers in front of the amazing television..
*sobs....*

of some old stuff..

2010-02-09T11:22:00.000+08:00

Well using the computer in college now, since classmates kelentong me bout doin assignment. So just thought of poking away on the keyboard, which works perfectly as opposed to the one at home.

So ya, really happy for Malaysia in the SEA games, for football especially.. They beat vietnam in the final to end a bazillion year(20 years to be exact) wait for a major win in any competition. I always kept the faith and supported them all through the time eventhough they've let us down many times before, but i guess the wait was worth it. Ok fine, it was an own goal by vietnam, but damn, they played like tomorrow was their last day on earth. The last time Malaysia won the gold in the SEA games was in 1989 in Kuala Lumpur, in which they beat singapore 3-1!! (yeah, in yo face kiasu fuckfaces!!) Hats off to K. Rajagopal on his job extermely well done, Respect! A total of eight coaches have taken charge of the national team for the last nine SEA Games (1991-2007) and none found success, including Frenchman Claude Le Roy, a former coach of the Cameroon World Cup team. So yeah, India boleh! Haha! It took and old Macha to do the job in the end.

Then my movie outing for Sherlock Holmes was a funny one for me, well the movie was funny as hell, and i became a father that night. Wait la dont go running around screaming your throats out saying I fathered a child, no no i did not. Some li'l kid sitting two rows in front of me didn't want to sit with her dad and mum so she wandered about the cinema and luckily did not disturb anyone else but me, well she didnt exactly disturb me, she mistook me for her 'papa'....twice!!

She came padding down the steps and held my hand saying, 'Jom papa balik' I told her her 'papa' was in front, she realising her mistake and ran to daddy, but daddy and mommy still want to see Sherlock do his thing on the big screen and so daughter dearest went for another walk about, till again she held my hand saying, 'Mai la papa, mai kite balik, Ana nak balik'. A lil weirded out this time for her repeat mistake in confusing her dad and me i told her softly again her papa di depan, she scampered to papa again..and this time papa took anak tersayang home halfway through the movie. Papa and me did not look anything alike anyway, so how did she mistaken me for her papa, oh well its just a kid anyway, so no worries there, it would've been a whole different story if it had been a teenage kid mistaking me for their dad, that would deserve a slap alright if it happened twice that is, but if it was a pretty gal....well then....come sit on daddy's lap, your most welcome to do so, hehehe...

Found a pair of nike boots, tried playing with them and ended up with painful big toes at the end, just a lil too small for me i guess, going to give them away, so look out yi min or anyone with small feet, you could just be on the receiving end on a pair of boots in pretty good condition. So be nice, bribe me if you want then you can have them, haha!

Stayed over at my cousins house over the past weekend, had some fun shit go on there and some fun but unfortunate shit happen too. Well cousin was chilling in bed with another friend named rob, then cousin decided to mess with rob and started to kononnya 'rape' him and rob pushed him off but a bit too hard and cousin fell off the bed right on his back, yeah i know a big 'ma puki, sakit la wei belakang aku, anak haram pasal apa hang tolak aku woiii!!', well something of the sort came out of his mouth and i was filming the whole 'rape' scene on my phone till my cousin disappeared off the screen and i realised he was on the floor and started laughing away. I kena kutuk la, 'apa punya cousin hang ni dei, i fall down you laigh the loudest at me', hahaha, sorry la, it was funny and i did help him off the floor later. The day before that happened we had a football match for Kdu, and after the match me and him went for dinner then....we decided to try crime.... no no, nothing serious, no bank robbery, no murder, no bribery, no rape, no hit and run, though that would be bit stupid since we were on bicycles... all we did was illegally ride fast through the length of Gurney plaza's, from kelawai side all the way right through gurney drive, we went all past Sega's, Chillis and whatever la, riding through with big grins on our faces, till we reached gurney drive side then only the guard eye balled us suspiciously wondering how we came from that side, but no way he could catch us, were 4fast 4furious bitches! Wheee....!

of quite a big OUCH!

2010-02-09T10:54:00.000+08:00

Well not that big an ouch for me but for someone else. Happenend during my weekly football fix on sunday morning at the field behind Adventist hospital, well one of the opposition managed to steal through and took a shot, the 'keeper parried the ball and it was bobbling back the the striker's feet, our 'keeper was sprawled out on his chest, so i ran in to bash the ball away only to have the 'keeper get up on his elbow while stretching to get back the ball, and it was already too late for me to stop, then my left knee crashed into the side of his head! *CRACK!*
He slumped to the ground and i fell over him, i thought, 'Shit, did i just do a Petr Cech right there and fracture his skull with my knee?!?!'
There was no bleeding for either one of us luckily, we helped the 'keeper off the field, no way he could continue for the day, and no serious injury to him just a really dizzy spell, said my sorry's but he was cool, said it all comes with the game, i had an aching knee only surprisingly and played out the rest of the game. Hope i dont have anything like that happen again, damn, knee to the head, fuhh.....

of why machines can't totally replace humans

2010-01-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

Machines just don't 'cut' when it comes to some 'jobs' do they... haha!

of Summer Finn, bitch...

2010-01-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

By coincidence, I saw this movie and "Observe and Report",and found some similarities in potrayal of the character Brandi, with Summer Finn of 500 days of summer, and although these are two VERY different movies, the lead female characters in both movies are portrayed as incredibly cold, insensitive, and self-absorbed.

Are these movies commenting on the reality of today's women? If so, this is depressing.

If the genders of the lead characters in "500 Days..." were reversed, and Summer was the male character, she (or rather, "he") would be considered an asshole by the end of the movie, because, after all, "he" treated so frivolously the heart and feelings of the one he was casually toying with.

But, because Summer was in fact a woman, somehow her behavior gets a "pass", and we're supposed to see her as "complex" instead of an asshole?

No way.

It's not cool to see anyone, male OR female, behave so narcissistically and to be so indifferent to the feelings of the person they are CHOOSING to be involved with.

of a pig!

2010-01-05T19:08:00.000+08:00

Here's a li'l flashback from school, bout a girl. No, no, me and her had nothing goin on but the damn ho thought there was and still does till today. I'll refer to her as Pig and also bitch and ho bag and whatever derogatory terms i can come up with at the moment.
So we met in sch, became friends and the usual stuff that comes along, in later conversation we found out that we lived in the same area along with another friend of hers, Mrs Fabregas lets call her friend that. We sorta worked out that i could a rides home with them from sch since i dont drive, and rely on public busses to get home, which back then werent that reliable as they are now. Both pig and Mrs Fab have their own car's,(lucky people), so i pretty often catch a ride home with either one of them, pig as i found out was a really fun friend to have, talked bout music and shit, and she'd talk bout how her friends used to mistaken her for a lil kid upon hearing her voice on the phone, which i cheekily agreed just to annoy out of silly fun. It was all good, for a while that is, until she started acting weird towards me. I asked what was wrong with her, if she wasn't feeling alright. All she said was she needed some space. So in my head its was like, 'Okaaay....somethings really up here, must be some heavy ass personal problem goin on with her'. So space is what she got. Then things got even more off, the pig sorta started to avoid me and didn't wanna let me hitch rides with her anymore, that's when yours truly Sherlock saspek de sure she got some benda against me de lah.
I tried to figure what the pig had against me, maybe she tak syok i tumpang with her. I mean i grateful that they both let me hitch rides home, and for putting up with me whenever i go with them after playin street soccer (peluh macam sungai kadang-kadang). But still whenever i ask whats going on least stop covering up la bloody pig, only to find out from Mrs Fab the truth, the pig actually thought I had something for her, when i heard that from Mrs Fab, i had a good laugh. Like what the fuck, even after her friends told her that i had nothing goin on for her she still insists that, 'no la, i can tell that he likes me'
Aint that a loada shit from the mouth, pig shit that is.
Kane, then wanna ignore to the max de, go fuck ur stictched up pig ass la, i wanna fuck u also no time la!
Syok sendiri pussy fart, Pattinson/Edward himself would swallow a whole bulb of garlic if he knew this!
You and ur fuckin schizophrenia delusion that i still like her, oh wait, better not encourage that necrophiliac, or she might assume that she deserves a movie to be made based on this experience ala-Russell Crowe-Beautiful mind. At least his delusion wasn't 'dumb fuck-penguin and beagle up ur own ass' delusion...
Dream on la pig, all i wanted was ur friendship, and u sank it to a level lower than the Marianas Trench, u wipe of an ass wipe!!
....aand even IF i liked you, what would be so wrong with that??! I aint good enough for ur pig-mentally challenged ass?!
or...................
are you just a...

closet racist?

*Phew* glad i got all of that out....

2009-12-19T19:25:00.000+08:00

Stay away from here Ropaa! or else....

of loving the whole world

2009-12-10T23:08:00.000+08:00

Just love this video! Such a catchy tune...boomdeyada, boomdeyadaaa....! Discovery is dope, too bad I dont have astro..

of waiting for a bloody moment please!!

2009-12-06T20:11:00.000+08:00

Finally exams are over but this keyboard is still not fixed, so sorta got to hold the mouse in my hand and type at the same time, but enough with that nothing i can do about that anymore, so fuck it.
So ya, exams are over moral paper was a piece of shit to answer, and mum is a total ass at times.
She came back and passed me a pamphlet to read and explain to her bout some Digi promo, literally 4 seconds later she asks me what is it saying, and this aint no simple pamphlet, it needed waaaaay more than fucking 4 secs to read over, i said wait la i'm not done yet, you just gave it to me.....and she starts her fucking bitching that is half the time full of utter shit and with her self made delusion that her logic is undeniable so i gave it to her and told her to read it herself then cos i didn't understand it! When actually its cos I'm not taking a truckload of bullshit into my ears for stuff like this! Then can buat lawak bodoh saying, I thought you very smart what?
Well..... I Don't Give A Fuck!!!!!!!
You can go ahead and say cheeky shit all you want. You tell me not to answer back?! what the fuck, i'm not some dog you can kick around with that prehistoric excuse, "because i'm the mother and you shouldn't answer back"
Tolong la, with what you say who wouldn't answer back, you wanna talk to something that wont answer back then go talk to the damn wall!! but then again with your blabbering even the fucking walls will tell you off!

of using a laptop which keyboard is messed up

2009-11-24T18:35:00.000+08:00

Many ber-sorry-an to all who read this blog.. Haven't updated in a bit cos exams are coming and this fucked up com that belongs to my dad, the damned spacebar and letter P dont work!!! How i wanna type out long-long using on screen keyboard right, sure jadi gila wei... so i'll try to work that out soon, not sure how(bashing the keyboard with my fist or keep jabbing at those two buttons till they agree to work with me instead of against me)

Till then, take care mates...

of being Broken

2009-11-07T01:04:00.000+08:00

Fell so weak right now, like i just cant sum up the effort to live..
What do you do when someone you've liked so much and tried to court for the past 4 years or so say that, we won't be together ever, what we are is just friends... Feel so much for her, she is the loveliest i've ever met, and ever will, all these years and no one's been able to avert my eyes, thoughts and heart from her.. And to hear that is a sure heart breaker.. and if she broke the friendship as well, the heart break and depression would be enough to kill me, no need for suicide..go look up broken heart syndrome..
This song by Lifehouse here quite perfectly sums up what i'm feeling and thinking bout.... good luck to me gettin over her and giving my love to someone more deserving as she asked of me.. in my very messed up life, she was what i hoped as the source of happiness to come, but she thinks other wise.. isnt it just amazingly fucked up to be me, damned to be alone and turned away from possibly the only one he could ever show love to... Haih, just pray the the chest pump doesnt give way, but if ur one who dont like me then do otherwise, to see yours truly in the obituary section of his favourite daily, The Star..
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will, I'll be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

of bug zappers a.k.a fly killer

2009-10-14T22:06:00.000+08:00

Had a presentation in class today, was bout starting a restaurant with a capital of fictional RM 300,000..
Dont say, 'Waaah, 300,000 only where got enough?' some of the other groups managed to set up their restaurant with half the dough! (fuyo) we had to base it all as much as possible on actual building rent rates, furniture prices and so on la, u get the idea la.. with 3 to group and less then 2 weeks to do, it was a total rush to the end and with one member being total nut, telling us the day before todays dead line that.......... (wait for it)
Eh, wat to do ah, i dunno how to do lo, how ah, how ah? eh, you two can do for me ah?
we were like HAAR?! PKM PUNYA BUDAK NI, DAH EXPLAIN TERANG-TERANG BAGI DIA, LEBIH TERANG DARI LAMPU KALIMANTANG, THEN LAGI BOLEH TANYA KITE ORANG BUAT BAGI DIA!!!??? CIPAN PUN TAK SEBATU DIA NI!
But after all that plus much more expletives that u can come up with, me and the other guy managed to get our act on the road, (legaaa....)
So we presented or stuff in front, then while i was explaining bout my kitchen design which looks like........

i got to number 12, oh ya FYI 5 is a fridge, so 12 is the bug zapper aka fly killer, the class went a li'l cuckoo, gettin all excited over me having a fly killer in there, i was like, 'huh? apa jadi wei?? aku silap jari tunjuk ke?'

see, see it cos no one else figured to put one in their own layouts, so kira gempak a bit la at the time, tapi aku relax ony la, fly killer ony la, small matter dei.. funny people in me class..

will find out soon enough the scores for that assigment, hope all goes well! :)

and may the fly killer.. oops.. i mean the Force be with meee....

till next time..

of first times

2009-10-12T00:41:00.000+08:00

My first post ever, didnt start a blog just because a lot of my other friends have one as well but thought of it as something very different from my rather routine life, and from wt i've heard, placings ads could earn me an extra buck, see how things go in time..

Life's been wild so far, realizing big gap in my football skills after playing with the Kdu team they're waay better.. adapting to being back in a studyin environment now tat i'm in college de, feels really out of place studyin again after so long, but enjoying the course anyway, been a lil over year since i beat the shit outta the"man",wish i had done worse come to think of it..

Missing my friends, but do get to see the likes of yi min, choo and others in college.. but wit deepavali coming round, i'm bound to be reunited with some other older mates, varun, vince (babi bandar, etc..)
Gotta go now zzz time, lookin forward to my next post.. see ya..

ps: pic above was taken on a morning during form 6, a new day..